Every woman carries numerous unseen roles, a testament we call the "Motherload" to their resilience and influence. In our final article in this series, Theresa encourages us to be a Badass!
What are the roles you play in your life in addition to being a mother?
In addition to being a mother, I’m a friend, wife, sister, aunt, interior designer, business owner, organizer, motivator, chef, and activities planner. I'm also a community volunteer and serve on a local school board. I’d also like to add that I’m a firefighter's wife, which adds a different stress level to my life.
How do you maintain a sense of identity and individuality while being a mom?
I make it a priority to have a little time to focus on myself, whether that's engaging in activities I enjoy, like hot yoga, or maintaining friendships with my girlfriends. It helps me feel like there’s life beyond motherhood and my job. I take time for myself and make sure that I recognize and acknowledge that I do not want to lose my girlfriends, as they are important to lean on and provide support in the future. I deeply love and support my kids and will always be there for them, but they will eventually leave home and be successful and won’t be here every day.
How do you handle the juggling act of integrating work and personal life?
Right now, I’m lucky because I work for myself, so I’m able to have more control over my schedule and client meetings. I do my best to manage my calendar to balance my family's activities and commitments. Every Sunday, I plan for the week ahead, organizing our meals on a dry-erase board so they’re taken off my plate. I love my Cozi (family organizer) app, so I know where everything is and who needs to be where.
How do you find time for self-care despite the demands of the many hats you wear?
I would say if you think you’re going to find the time, the answer will typically be no. So you just have to do it, even if it's just 15 minutes. For me, it’s putting it on the schedule, like hot yoga on Thursday, because I know it will make me a better and happier leader in my job and role model at home. You want to be around for your kids and family in the future so taking care of you is key!
If I can't get out, I'll take a bath, even for 15 minutes. Sometimes I can't get a full hour for myself, but I do something that brings me joy, whether gardening, a quick walk, or cuddling with my dog.
It’s hard to find the time, but if you really look at it, you can find 15 minutes here or there. Being in a client schedule-driven industry, sometimes finding time is hard, so you have to take it where you can. As I've gotten older, I've realized the importance of something simple, like lighting a candle, as a small act of self-care.
What's your go-to self-care routine or activity when you need a break?
My go-to self-care activity is taking a bath, even if it's in the middle of the day!
On a lighter note, have you considered charging a fare for your "Mom Taxi Service," and do your passengers give you a five-star rating?
I have three girls, so I've lost count, but it's probably in the millions by now. I have mastered the art of the eye roll finesse in my earlier years, and now I just move forward. They're just having a moment, and they'll be fine. Sometimes, I tell them to take a moment to regroup.
Okay, rapid fire Q&A!
Book you always recommend: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Secret to staying organized: My Cozi calendar. if I didn’t have it, I would probably curl up in a corner and cry.
Favorite way to unwind: Oh, my bath! Bathtime and watching a Dateline or Hallmark movie. I light my Evening Aromatherapy Candle—it’s the best!
Best piece of advice for moms like yourself: Don’t take anything personally and laugh it off. When my kids roll their eyes, at first, it used to bother me, and now I realize they're just having a bad moment, and when you think about what the eyeroll is for, it often makes me laugh a bit. Or if I ask my girlfriends to go out, and they say no, maybe they’re just busy or not feeling up to it.
I try to stay positive and be the best person I can be for my family, friends, kids, and MYSELF. To quote Jen Sincero from her book You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living An Awesome Life, “What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.” Take care of yourself, don’t take it personally, and go be that Badass!
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