Every woman carries numerous unseen roles, a testament we call the "Motherload" to their resilience and influence. Our series, "Unpacking the Motherload," celebrates these powerful stories. Meet Tammye—an IT project manager, devoted caregiver, and vibrant social butterfly.

What are the roles you play in your life in addition to being a mother?

I’m a wife, caregiver, aunt, friend, and employee—I’m an IT project manager for a large global financial institution.

How do you maintain a sense of identity and individuality while being a mom?

I do that intentionally by carving out time for myself and things that I enjoy doing without worrying about judgment, like vacationing with just my friends. If there are things that I want to do, I can figure them out and make them work. For example, if I go out during the week, I have cooked, cleaned, and put new sheets on the bed so I can go out guilt-free and enjoy myself. I’m high energy and because I don’t get tired easily, I can fully enjoy myself without interruption. I feel bad if the fridge is empty and I’m out gallivanting, so I order extra dinner, trying to accommodate, which makes me feel better and guilt-free. Doing the things that I love to do takes extra work on my part, but once done, I go out and enjoy myself wholeheartedly because I feel mentally comfortable.

How do you handle the juggling act of integrating work and personal life?

One thing at a time. I’m trying to deprogram myself about multitasking as it doesn’t work. I have a sheet of paper with a list of personal things that must be done and work things that must be done, and in the morning, I prioritize what has to be done and accomplished. I may not get through it all, but any progress is some progress—I took time to get it done and was not overwhelmed. Running multiple households, I have to write it down because everything is going down. When I write it down, it’s like I don't have to do it until X date. Writing it down gives me clarity, and peace of mind, even the smallest thing—and I can ask for help when needed because it’s all written out.

How do you find time for self-care despite the demands of the many hats you wear?

I probably don’t do it as often as I should. For self-care, that’s a good one. I care for my mother, so self-care gets pushed to the back burner. I go back to my list if I’ve written it down, so I make it intentional that I’ve neglected it, and I try to fit it in, but there are many things that I let go of—no manicure and pedicure because it takes too much time. I’m part of the sandwich generation, I care for my mom, and she has many doctor visits. I need to do things for myself but don’t tend to unless I put in time and attention. One of the quickest self-care tips I've made is applying Evening Body Serum after I bathe—it's a small step that makes a big difference.

What's your go-to self-care routine or activity when you need a break?

Going out for drinks. And if there is dancing involved with the drinks, even better! I’m extra happy!

On a lighter note, do you secretly wish for the call from your kids when they're away, or are you secretly relieved when they forget?

I like the occasional call on their own time—when they remember to call. Whenever that is, I’m excited about it. It’s not like there’s anything planned. A call asking for questions or advice—I feel like it’s quick, I served my purpose—they say, “I got it,” and hang up abruptly. I don’t dictate—I secretly enjoy them picking up the phone and calling. There’s always a little bit of excitement that they do it independently.

Okay, rapid fire Q&A!

Book you always recommend: The Kiterunner by Khaled Hosseini.

Secret to staying organized: Do something every day.

Favorite way to unwind: Listening to music. I love music!

Best piece of advice for moms like yourself: Keep living, exploring, learning and having fun. None of that should stop. There’s always something to learn and fun to be had!

ABOUT L’BEAUXTIQUE

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Evening Body Serum